Kitty Litter Lesson

 

Who knew that one could learn so much from the ordinary stuff called kitty litter. Those of you with cats know the stuff and all that is involved with the daily (or more) scooping of the litter box. I’ve been scooping litter for a decade now and find the dust associated with this stuff to be quite annoying. Part of the annoyance was that not only did the litter box need constant attention but also the floor, baseboards and anything else in the room that became coated with the residue.

Well, that was then, and this is now, and this is how it happened. The other week when I was scooping the kitty litter, I thought to myself, “one day when we move I’m going to look into getting dust-free kitty litter.” Instantly I stopped because I couldn’t believe what I had just said, and it struck me as an epiphany. Why would I wait until I moved? Who knows when that will be? At that moment, I realized I could make the change immediately, and that’s what happened. I invested in dust-free kitty litter and can’t believe the difference it makes; there is actually no dust AND I have learned a great lesson.

How many times in my life do I say or think about in the same way? How often do I use that phrase, “when I”, which puts everything off to another time? And, unfortunately for me, putting it off also means putting it out of mind until the issue again presents itself; sometimes over and over again. So, I’ve decided to notice throughout the day how many times I think or say to myself “when I” and when I notice those words instead choose to become aware of why I'm pushing into the future what needs attending to now. I’m choosing to live present and engaged with the stuff of my life and that includes the kitty litter.  

Gazebo Moments

 

Clay was just an ordinary man sitting under an ordinary gazebo where I stopped for shade and a rest after a hike along the beach.  He was just sitting there because, as he eventually shared, he felt stuck in life.  His phone was broken along with his car and what he really needed was a job. Besides, he might like to move and he loves maps and the night sky.  For someone stuck in life he was kind, clean, considerate and exacting in his choice of words.  We struck up a conversation about those ordinary things people talk about under a gazebo and I noticed his ease with the silent gaps as he choose the right word or words to express what he wanted to say.  Given Clay’s propensity to let things be I was also encouraged to just be and allow the silent gaps unfold.

He said he was just sitting still at this time because he wasn’t certain what direction to take in life.  The intelligence of such a decision seemed profound and I wondered why, when stuck, I didn’t try this approach more often.  He was content to just be, it sort of oozed off him.  Somewhere in the conversation the topic of society’s increasing need for material acquisitions arose and he said that for him “less is more” and then to add emphasis he said, “no, really.”  I agreed that less is more and, in fact, there really wasn’t anything more than the present moment he and I were sharing.  Smiling wryly, he acknowledged this truth. 

As we both just sat imbibing on the ordinary smallness of the day I enjoyed the basking of the extraordinary.  I’m struck how something so simple can be the best teacher and how in that moment I knew all was well. There was nothing more or nothing less needed in those moments and my heart was filled with enough.  Clay and his great intelligence will now always remind me to be still in the midst of stuckness and just allow.  Thank you Clay!    

How is your stillness and abiding today?  Do you have a regular practice that slows you down so you may engage more deeply with what is actually happening?  Please share and, as always, if you have comments or questions, I’d love to hear from you.

The Teacup

The other day, which was a very ordinary day, I conversed with a friend regarding Western society’s bent towards individualism as contrasted with the Eastern mindset of community.  Our conversation was a very brief conversation and we quickly moved on to the purpose of our meeting.  I was, therefore, joyfully amused when the following day I came across this from The New Monasticism by Rory McEntee & Adam Bucko.

“The elders are passing on their lived experience of human life…This infusion process requires a certain humble disposition, one which is not naturally cultivated in our Western societies.  It requires the ability to bow in deep gratitude to one another. The venerable Chogyam Trungpa captured it well when he once said words to the effect that, transmission is like pouring tea into a cup. The cup must be lower than the teapot. This is just a statement of fact. It does not contain any hierarchy. If the cup is not below the teapot, the tea will not end up in the cup.”

What a beautiful image and playful invitation to do life as a teacup. I could immediately feel the desire to live life in such a way, a yes to a cup always poised in the correct position and, therefore, receptive to tea.  I also could immediately sense the resistance to living from what felt like a lower stance.  Aware that this quote centers around transmission of knowledge from teacher to student it's relevant because Life is teacher and if my teacup is receptive, in the correct position, there will always be something to receive. Additionally the cup must be empty.

Knowing this and living this is a daily practice.  I’m the first to acknowledge that Life transmissions are difficult when another is challenging my belief system or when my self (ego) feels slighted, frightened or becomes defensive in some way.  In other words if I'm full of myself. But if I can remember to bow my heart, read here humility and vulnerability, and position my teacup correctly the lesson never disappoints.  It’s a delight knowing this path of growth towards such interior freedom is well documented in both the psychological and religious traditions and is what many simply call living from the full, mature, ordinary, human life. 

What daily practice do you utilize to fully ground yourself in the here and now in order to be receptive to your teachers?  Likewise, how do you make room in your cup for Life?  As always, if you have comments or questions please comment here or reach out using the contact form.   

Thoughts

So, here we are, in the right here and right now of ordinary life.  Have you ever noticed the thinking involved in the ordinary life?  Here's a small sampling I've recently encountered with ordinariness and its thinking.  

I fell down this past week, playing pickleball of all things, prompting a trip to urgent care to rule out a fracture and I’m noticing a “what if” thought story.  In order to allow healing for my wrist the bed has remained unmade for the past five days and chores have been greatly reduced; a “you should” thought appears.  Two weeks and counting on a lab report from the dermatologist’s office and sensing an “if only they were more efficient” thought.  An adorable bunny fell into the pool meeting its demise and an awareness that all is connected creates a pain in my heart.  My mom and I hold opposing political views creating interesting conversation…or not and noticing an “us vs. them” commentary in my mind.  There’s a monthly Zoom group I try to participate in but can never seem to get it together due to the time difference, I notice a “what will people think” story.     

The above sampling represents ordinary life circumstances not uncommon to us all.  Yet, all these ordinary events held the opportunity to notice the underlying thoughts.  Picking up on our theme from the last blog, the ordinary events provide the substance for the practice of noticing and, while it does take practice, it is possible to take the ordinary and begin noticing.  From my perspective it does no good, meaning there is no opportunity for growth, if I am unaware of myself, my thoughts, emotions and reactions in such ordinary situations.  

To be aware means that there is a realization about the thinking and ruminating and to recognize that such thinking and ruminating can go on for hours, days, months, and, yes, even years.  You can see that the above events came with a thought-story but with the choice to notice the thought or story an opportunity arose to discover what the thoughts or stories were about.  For instance, the above thought of  “what will people think” provided an opportunity to interiorly explore what is really driving that story such as needing the approval of others.  I can now continue the interior work further discovering what actually prompts this need.  I will not lie, this interior exploring can be painful work, but it is also liberating work and we are in need of such liberation.  

So, for today, let’s practice noticing all the stories flying and filling our minds.  And, for today, it is enough to just notice; no judgement or analysis needed.  When we begin to notice we begin to see how the thoughts and stories are always informing us.  Please leave any comments, questions or ponderings below or contact me directly.    

 Peace, light and love to you on this ordinary day. 

The Somewhere Story

 

Wolf Creek, Montana

 A Blog, now there's something I never saw coming.  I wonder, and ask myself, "don't you have to be somewhere before you begin to blog; why blog when life is nothing but ordinary, the most ordinary of ordinary?"  Yet, undeniably, there is a desire to say something about the ordinary life.  What I mean by the ordinary life is the present moment, a showing up to what actually is.  This sounds so trite, so easy, but, in reality, it is hard to do.  Honestly, for the longest time I believed the thoughts in my head were the present moment, actually for most of my life. It has taken long years of practice and commitment to both recognize the thoughts in my head and make a conscious choice about what to do with them.  What has opened up, although still a work in progress, is a whole new way of showing up to ordinary life.  

If you are truly present to the moment it can feel ordinary, maybe even boring, because it is uncluttered.  It is uncluttered by thoughts about the past or future, thoughts such as "they always talk too much" or "when will I catch a break."  When these types of thoughts are stilled the basic unit of NOW seems, initially, empty and can be missed.  A simple test to gauge if I'm fully showing up is to ask myself if there is any tension or stress currently held in my body or emotions?  If so, then I know this tension or stress reveals a desire, however subtle, to be somewhere, anywhere, but right here right now.  Initially this practice took place in hindsight by engaging in a curiosity about how I'd shown up to a given situation.  You can do this too by setting aside a short quiet time each day to ask yourself if there were any hints of tension or stress in your body or emotions in a situation of your choosing.  As an aside, if you're not fully tuned into your body (yet) these tensions and stresses come out as the thoughts and stories we hear in our head saying things like, "why did they say that" or "I should have said such and such when they said so and so."

So, the right here right now story in my head says that blogging can begin when somewhere is a reality.  If I'm really still, and really honest, I can feel in my body the tension when I actually consider creating a blog and pushing the publish button.  Upon closer reflection of this thought-story it dawns on me that today is somewhere even if the thought-story says otherwise.  This story about being somewhere is a learned thought that emerged from many different sources; family, academia, culture, religion and from the wounds received as a partaker of the human family.  These sources helped reinforce an ideal I held (and obviously still hold) that says once a person gets somewhere life finally and fully begins.  Funny thing is a lifetime can be spent waiting and the waiting option isn't very appealing these days. Somewhere is now!  Living this moment, even while noticing the story, is the most appealing option.  It also means that the publish button will get pressed.  

I'd love to hear your thoughts, struggles or insights with living in the present moment.  Please leave your comments below or contact me directly with any comments or questions.  

Peace, light and love to you on this day.