Gazebo Moments

 

Clay was just an ordinary man sitting under an ordinary gazebo where I stopped for shade and a rest after a hike along the beach.  He was just sitting there because, as he eventually shared, he felt stuck in life.  His phone was broken along with his car and what he really needed was a job. Besides, he might like to move and he loves maps and the night sky.  For someone stuck in life he was kind, clean, considerate and exacting in his choice of words.  We struck up a conversation about those ordinary things people talk about under a gazebo and I noticed his ease with the silent gaps as he choose the right word or words to express what he wanted to say.  Given Clay’s propensity to let things be I was also encouraged to just be and allow the silent gaps unfold.

He said he was just sitting still at this time because he wasn’t certain what direction to take in life.  The intelligence of such a decision seemed profound and I wondered why, when stuck, I didn’t try this approach more often.  He was content to just be, it sort of oozed off him.  Somewhere in the conversation the topic of society’s increasing need for material acquisitions arose and he said that for him “less is more” and then to add emphasis he said, “no, really.”  I agreed that less is more and, in fact, there really wasn’t anything more than the present moment he and I were sharing.  Smiling wryly, he acknowledged this truth. 

As we both just sat imbibing on the ordinary smallness of the day I enjoyed the basking of the extraordinary.  I’m struck how something so simple can be the best teacher and how in that moment I knew all was well. There was nothing more or nothing less needed in those moments and my heart was filled with enough.  Clay and his great intelligence will now always remind me to be still in the midst of stuckness and just allow.  Thank you Clay!    

How is your stillness and abiding today?  Do you have a regular practice that slows you down so you may engage more deeply with what is actually happening?  Please share and, as always, if you have comments or questions, I’d love to hear from you.

Practice Practicing

Coffee Art

Why the resistance to practice?  Oh, we do it, but often it’s because we must.  For instance, if you want to learn to play the guitar, manage differently, or change communication styles you must practice what you are being taught.  There is immense joy in learning something new, mastering something we had only dreamt of, but why does the road to that joy often include the hidden mind stories of “when will I get there?” or “why is this so hard?”  In other words, why do we diminish the joy by not being present to the practice just as it is without the internal banter? 

It’s as if there is something wrong with practice.  We say that we know it is necessary to practice, that there’s nothing wrong with the mistakes that inevitably inhabit practice, yet the internal mind, if you’re observant, is often belying this point.  If you don’t believe me just tune in and listen the next time you are practicing.  There are numerous reasons for this internal critic that demands perfection with some being cultural morays, our own hidden agendas, belief systems, and family and systemic programming.  But that can change.  You ask “how can it change?” and, of course, the answer is with practice.

This learning to observe what is actually going on in your mind is possible but you must begin where you are.  Just for today pick a situation you found yourself in and see if you can pick out the different “voices” present during the encounter; things you thought but didn’t say.  Once you do this (practice) for a while you will even begin to catch yourself in the act, hearing the voices as they actually arise or sensing the discomfort in your body.  These voice are just trying to help but as adults we intuit that this help is not actually useful and that we can just be present to what is without the internal (usually meaningless) commentary. 

So today, just begin where you are with patience and compassion. No use wishing you were already somewhere else because you miss today’s learning opportunities. If you have some experience with observing I’m curious as to how you practice opening to chatterbox mind or check out this 90 day sampling Rhonda and I are offering.  Either way I’d love to hear your story into deeper Abiding.